Summary & Key points
It’s working.
So we come sometimes to different parts of our life, we say, “It’s not working with God. It’s not working in this thing. Uh, this relationship is not working. This thing about giving to God is not working. This thing about honoring God is not working.”
But simply because we’ve not gone all the way and said, “Actually, there is this place of no light of God flowing into me. There’s no reception capacity. Why? Because I’ve not completely…”
So something is missing, isn’t it?
So something can be missing in my walk with God, and I’m always dissatisfied, or it’s always surface. It’s, uh, ah, you know, it’s not… I need something more.
And that’s what happens in friendship, in relationships, in marriages. You know, even though when we want to migrate to another country, you know, “Ah, it’s not, I… I… I want something.”
But the main place for us to come is to draw back into the relationship that God is drawing us into.
If I can put it in the most simple terms, yeah, something is missing.
We looked at these two scriptures. I’m just going to briefly go through the first two points and then, uh, finish where I left off last week.
1 John 4:16–21. It says, “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.”
It begins there.
“So we know and we rely.”
Our understanding of the word knowledge—know—is always maybe circumstantial, very surface.
But whenever we understand the word knowledge in scripture, it’s always experiential. It’s always something interactive. It’s always where something is flowing both ways. It’s not a one-way passage, a one-way traffic.
“And so we know and we rely on God’s love.”
I catch myself not relying on God, not relying on his provision, but relying many a time on what I think is right or how I want it to happen or why it’s not happening the way I want it.
“And so we know and we rely on the love God has for us.”
It revolves through him.
“God is love. Whoever lives in love.”
So what is the requirement?
I not only just plug myself to that, but I live with that principle.
I can live in a home—this is where we parents can relate—a child can be in the home but never relating to the life of that home or the culture desired in that home, isn’t it?
We can do our own thing.
I can live in a country, but I’m always looking for a benefit, but I never contribute.
Again, I can look for a friendship, but I’m always looking at what I can get rather than what I can give.
So this goes all the way through. And until I understand that and come in terms with that, then it changes. The tide changes.
“Whoever lives…” It’s a very active dynamic.
“Whoever lives in love lives in God, but God is love, and God in them.”
Next.
“This is how love is made complete.”
Uh, some of your versions will use the word perfect.
“This is how love is made complete among us, so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment. In this world, we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love.”
All of us experience some measure of fear. And sometimes fear cripples people more than the place of engaging faith.
Faith is not some silly screaming and shouting and stomping your feet.
Faith actually begins again in the confidence that I have in what God has for me and how he sees me and how he draws me in that relationship.
If not, you know, we like to quote the part where Jesus said, “It is written.” And we say, and then we just go and take scripture, we shout.
But the whole issue is this: Jesus was abiding with the Father.
We are not plugged in, but we are shouting scripture verses.
And then we say, “It doesn’t work.”
But I’m not plugged in.
“So there is no fear in love.”
What do you fear today?
We all have a measure of fear.
We have different fears. We have fear of people. We have fear of the future. We have fear of failure.
We have so many fears. We have fear of being rejected. We have so many levels of fear.
And that cripples the place of connecting with God.
If you were to look—if you and I should be quiet in that sense, that we’re coming to the end of the year—we should be a bit more reflective as we think of 2025.
What fear has taken you away?
Because fear is not just that, “Hey, I’m scared.”
Fear breeds out of insecurities.
And our insecurities many a time muddle our connection with God.
Because we’re looking for things to be, to be, to come to us in different ways.
So he says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love,” and we looked at that word.
“It’s mature.”
Perfect love drives out fear.
Can you imagine living in that place of confidence?
It’s not that loud confidence.
Confidence can be something very quiet within our hearts and our minds.
But “perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
That means when I fear, when I disconnect, I can never enjoy that place that God wants to work in my heart, work through my heart, shape my mind, shape my life.
Why?
I’m constantly struggling.
“We love because he first loved us.”
We don’t automatically love, isn’t it?
So that’s why it says…
So that’s why it says his name.
We go on, we see here:
“Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or a sister is a liar.”
Last week, I elaborated a bit on this. Isn’t this a bit difficult? Would you agree with me?
Because I think we all hate people, isn’t it? Different ways.
Come on, anybody? Any good confessors here?
We hate people.
We dislike people.
We have unforgiveness. Why?
And I think the thing is this again—because there’s this place of insecurity and fear.
And we have not really understood. And I—that’s—I struggle with this—with celebrity preachers.
If you have prayed this, you are nonsense.
I must understand: why am I having this salvation? Why does God love me? How does God forgive me? What is the issue of sin in my life?
And that’s why when we come to church or when you give your life to the Lord—the Belong series—what is salvation all about? What do I believe? Why do I believe? How do I believe?
Why?
Because if I don’t do that, there’s always this disconnect. I’m looking for a high—a spiritual high, some kind of high—all the time.
If I don’t find it in church, I find it at work. I find it with money. I find it with sex. I find it with alcohol. I find it with extreme sports.
I find it with so many other things.
But again, I’m always dissatisfied because I’m always looking for something else to be plugged into rather than what God wants me to be plugged into—his life.
Does this make sense?
And that’s why the distractions around us seem to say, “This is where you get fulfilled.”
“So whoever… we love because he first loved.”
We claim.
I tell you, this is so challenging, isn’t it?
And I think it’s so good to be reflective. Always be reflective.
And the Lord’s Prayer, which is daily:
“Forgive us our debts, as we forgive those who…”
So this whole dynamic of loving and releasing and forgiving is so real.
Why?
Because we have all these different things that unplug us from his love.
You may dislike me for different things, and that wouldn’t be a shock.
You may dislike somebody else in church. You may dislike relatives.
You may dislike—we can dislike so many people.
There are things they say, “I will never forget. I will never forgive.”
And we carry that baggage in our lives.
And yet God says, “I want to see you free. Him who the Son sets free is free indeed.”
But we only look at freedom in a very narrow sense.
And we carry this baggage of fear, of punishment, of insecurity, disconnection, and we never find the fulfillment.
“Whoever hates a brother or sister is a liar.”
Ouch.
Can I remove that passage from the Bible?
“For whoever does not love their brother or sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.”
So it comes back. It starts there, isn’t it?
It starts with him again because he gives us the ability.
“And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”
Will that challenge us, you think?
To say, “Hey, you know, what do I believe?”
We sang the song:
“I believe in God the Father, I believe in the Son. I believe in the resurrection. I believe the three in one. I believe in his Holy Spirit.”
Do I believe this is his word?
Do I believe it’s the truth?
Do I believe it’s life for me?
It shapes me. It connects me. It perfects me. It matures me. It develops me. It makes me a better person.
Because if I don’t see that, then I carry unforgiveness. It’s a cancer.
I carry disappointment. I carry anger. I carry rejection. I communicate rejection.
It’s a cancer.
And I will always justify hate. I will justify not forgiving.
I will justify, and I say, “Hey…”
And you know, when I do the Father heart, people have so many daddy issues.
And they bring it into their marriage.
They bring it into their life, into their work, into their studies, into their marriage—into everywhere, they bring it.
And they will just say, “No, no, no, I… I… I don’t like this person, you know. I can’t handle this guy, and I don’t like the way Pastor does this.”
But actually, they’re daddy issues.
You’ve always had problems when you were growing up to a certain extent with your dad.
So we have so many things, and yet when we come to this mature, perfect love, when we come to this place where we connect back again to God, the life-giver—and until the plug is there, it’s in there—I can never hope for change.
It’s surface.
Next, please.
Let me see the first church.
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles.”
So the Pentecost Charismatics, we love the signs and blunders—I mean signs and wonders.
We love the signs and wonders. We love the speaking in tongues. We love the laying on of hands.
But sometimes, we’re the most miserable in our hearts.
The most contentious in fellowship.
Can you pause with me?
Can you pause with me?
If we—the church in Malaysia, we start first, Malaysia, then the world—if we understood these scriptures, do you think we’d have church splits?
We wouldn’t.
Because we would resolve issues.
“All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.”
Some of us also want that to be removed.
“Every day, they continued to meet together in the temple courts.”
Oh dear, sorry, I’m saying sorry to the chair, okay.
“They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”
Something is missing.
So last week, this was my first point:
Fellowship begins with love.
Not just any love but God’s love.
It cannot be my perspective, you know.
It says in—was it 1 John 4:16? Can we go there?
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them.”
Abiding in him.
We think of John 15 again, isn’t it?
We allow God to work in us.
One of the things that I was talking about last week is this: I said we must face something difficult.
The difficulty is this:
We often confuse church attendance, eating, friendly gestures for true fellowship.
But it’s furthest from that.
That’s not true fellowship.
We come to church. We shake hands.
“San, have you eaten? Let’s… you know…”—different things.
Nothing wrong with that.
Please don’t misunderstand. Nothing wrong with that. That’s the Malaysian way.
“Hey, have you eaten or not?” It’s our first greeting, isn’t it?
So we come to church. We shake hands. We exchange pleasantries.
But our hearts remain unplugged from each other.
Our hearts remain unchanged.
Untouched.
Why?
Because we haven’t fully opened up ourselves to God’s love, allowing him to shape us, transform us—which shapes how we relate to one another.
All of us can do better, wouldn’t you agree?
All of us, yeah?
All of us can do better at that.
So why should it matter to us?
Why should this issue matter to us?
Well, we’ve got to ask ourselves.
Can I have the next…?
Have we truly abided in God’s love, or are we merely going through the motions?
If we are not living in God’s love, abiding—remaining—how can we expect to offer genuine love to someone else?
Or anywhere?
My sincere apologies.
Let’s welcome Pastor Herbert from Canada.
So, the young people enjoyed the Comparative Religion yesterday?
Yeah, so it’s very good.
The reason we…
I thought he was talking about food.
Came to Malaysia, started thinking like Malaysians, you know.
Soya homes. Soya structure.
What was it in China?
Tofu homes. Tofu homes.
I thought he’s talking about food.
But there’s a documentary on how badly homes are made.
And it shows this person takes the screwdriver, stabs it through the wall that looks solid, and the sand is just coming out.
And he can just easily make a hole.
Why?
The contractor gets the contract, subcontract, sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub…
Comes to him.
He doesn’t know how to do anything.
But he’s going to build a home.
And the home will crumble in less than a year.
Because there’s no sincerity, honesty, integrity in building that home.
See, he doesn’t know how to build.
Not that you don’t know.
He doesn’t know how to build a home.
Why?
He cannot give what he doesn’t have.
I cannot give sincere care, integrity, love if I don’t have it.
If I don’t have a burden for the lost, I’m not going to be bothered to reach the lost.
If I don’t find the burden of the Lord about prayer, I’m not going to be bothered about prayer.
If I’m not stirred in my heart to understand what the dynamic is in community, I’m never going to contribute.
I’m going to come here at surface level, misunderstanding what it is to come together as a body.
Because it’s from my framework.
It’s that tofu building.
I build it according to my specifications.
Jesus says,
“I will build my church, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it.”
But I build church to my specifications.
And the gates of hell have a field day in it.
I cannot give what I don’t have.
Only when I abide, it happens.
Why?
Because love changes, isn’t it?
“The love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit.”
So, unforgiveness, criticisms—they diminish, they diminish.
I’m sorry you’re hearing it because I don’t have the form here. The form fed a rat, I think.
All right.
The second point I looked at was:
Perfect love casts out fear—fear that keeps us apart.
What did Adam and Eve… I pointed out in Genesis 3, and I’m sure it’s verse 8.
“Where are you, Adam?”
Hiding.
Why?
“I was afraid.”
Afraid of what?
Fear.
And can you imagine—they had this amazing, amazing relationship with God.
So, if I don’t pursue it…
Young people, the people you like, you find ways to send them TikTok messages, WhatsApp messages—all kinds of messages, right?
Why?
You want to pursue that.
Those of us who are married, I’m sure you didn’t just say, “God, whatever your will.”
You were very clear with what you wanted, right?
Oh, come on, don’t sound so… come on.
And sometimes we are afraid to admit our wrongdoing.
Adam and Eve could never—you realize, when you read this, and I mentioned this some weeks ago—Adam could never say,
“God, I blundered. I should not have listened.”
Eve didn’t say,
“I’m sorry. I should not have believed.”
And the snake would have said,
“I’m dead.”
But the dynamic played out very differently.
This woman.
Immediately, it’s the blame shift.
Why?
“Blame me. They are like this. Why blame me? Why is the church like this? Why is the boss like that? Why is the…”
Blame shift.
Why?
Why?
What for?
Why?
He says, mature love—perfect love—casts, drives out fear.
I no longer hold on to those things.
I don’t hold on to excuses.
I say, “God, I own up to my mistake. I want to make it right.”
And that’s where salvation begins.
“Lord, I am sorry. I need your forgiveness. I need salvation. I need redemption. I need to submit myself. I come to you. I surrender my life.”
It begins there, isn’t it?
It’s not this nice-sounding thing.
“Wow, now I’m highly favored. I’m going to have all the business. I’m going to have all the health. I’m going to have all the money.”
And if God doesn’t come through:
“The devil is after me. Somebody is not right. Hey, hey God, wake up!”
No.
I’ve got it all messed up.
We can no longer hold on to wounds, to grudges.
Why?
Because then we become liars.
We don’t like people lying to us.
But sometimes I walk around like a big, fat liar.
Why should this matter to us?
Too often, fear, rejection, our own issues—our hearts disengage us from fellowship.
There’s a disconnect.
I can’t even connect in church, in the simplicity of relationships.
It’s always, “What are you doing for me?”
Instead of, “Hey, stepping into the fullness of community.”
God is calling us to something deeper.
Perfect love doesn’t just make us feel good.
This is the misconception of our culture.
It compels us to let go of fear, step out in faith, and trust that he is at work, even in the messiness of relationships.
What would it look like for us to let go of fear, embrace love in our relationships?
Who are the people we are avoiding?
Or we carry this cancer in our hearts.
So, reality check is this:
Are you ready for it?
Yeah?
No drumroll.
We wound each other.
We disappoint each other.
Is that not true?
If we were to be really honest—and we should be honest, right?—you would say,
“Yeah, Pastor has disappointed me too many times.”
And that would not be a lie.
So, what’s the reality check?
But when I come to this place of that perfect love, that mature love, when I connect, then that gives me the ability to say,
“Is this worth holding on to?”
And sometimes, it’s my—the fourth part of the Trinity, the fourth person in the Trinity—my wife will say,
“Do you want to let that go?
Do you really want to hold on to that hurt, to that disappointment? Start letting it go.”
Do we need, as we count down, do we need to make right some relationships here?
I’m very serious here.
It’s not, “Let’s entertain ourselves, you know, Sunday.”
No.
This is a hard question for us.
Do you and I need to make right some relationships?
It’s not my opinion, your opinion—it’s according to scripture.
So if we say, “I’m a believer,” can I do that?
It’s… it sounds… actually, it’s deeper than what you and I are thinking right now.
But yet, there’s freedom and healing in it.
We get rid of—and we are not well.
We want to get well, right?
Let’s get well spiritually.
Let’s get well relationally.
I want to come to the third point today.
Fellowship is about giving, not just receiving.
Let’s look at the scripture.
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.”
The early church really understood something we often forget.
And this is what I would say, dear ones: Fellowship is not about what we can get but what we can give.
If my position here is all about what I can get from you, I’m not going to be bothered standing in the gap for people every day.
I’m not going to be bothered to work at thinking,
“How can we work things? How can I work with the children? How can I help the young people think differently so they don’t get swallowed up?”
Yeah, I know the father—I know how the father thinks. I know how the mother thinks. I know what they say.
I know they have me for dinner—it’s not pasta, it’s pastor, you know.
I know that dynamic.
But if I’m standing here only waiting for one way, I have sinned against you and against God.
I have sinned.
And likewise, when we come here and the dynamic is about how I feel—some may disagree, but we have sinned against each other as well in the Lord.
We have.
These believers that we read about in the New Testament, they didn’t come together wondering,
“What is the community going to do for us?”
They came ready to participate, to give.
So if I approach fellowship from the mindset of a consumer, I will never be satisfied.
See, we might ask,
“What will I get from this place? Will I be encouraged? Will someone notice me? If I come, how many people will talk to me?”
Allah, we’ve got it wrong.
Wrong.
We’ve got it wrong.
Can I walk across the room and shake a hand?
Or am I expecting somebody to walk across the room and shake my hand?
What if both are saying,
“I’ll wait for him.”
“I’ll wait for her.”
“I’ll wait. I’ll wait. I’ll wait. I’ll wait.”
Then God is waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Okay. H.
You understand that now?
As simple as this sounds, the dynamic changes when that mindset changes.
Even in your workspace.
You know people who are weird, right?
But God’s design is so different.
It’s about each one of us bringing what we have.
“I don’t have a lot of money.”
Praise God.
Do you have some time?
“Uh, yes.”
Do you have some compassion?
“Yes.”
Do you have some love to share?
What resource do you have?
We can serve each other in so many ways.
It’s when I don’t that I become the Dead Sea.
I become this LA to myself.
And you know what?
This is the danger.
And psychologically it shows—you become critical.
You’re always criticizing people.
You’re always… so even your connect group,
“Why go? Why go? Why?”
You’re critical.
Why?
Because you’re disconnected.
You have a false perception of what God is supposed to do for you, what the church is supposed to do for you, others—it’s a false perception.
We don’t make a difference in the world.
And yet, that’s the difference.
We are salt and light, all of us.
I told you this story—one of our cleaners, Indra.
She doesn’t have a lot of money.
She’s a single mom.
You know, every now and then, this lady who doesn’t go to church will go and cook me mutton.
Mutton is one of the most expensive meats, right?
Yes?
No?
I tell you, she’s not the most fantastic cook.
But that’s the most satisfying bowl of food that I have every time.
It’s for me.
And every time I tear up.
Because every time I think—and I’m going to be very honest—it’s like,
“What is pastor doing for us? What is pastor doing for me? What’s the church doing for me? What’s dignity doing for me? What? What? What?”
And I hear it mostly from the Christians.
It can be very demoralizing.
It can be very discouraging.
And sometimes, that’s where Patrina and I will just say,
“Okay, let’s remind each other we’re serving the Lord. Let’s remind each other.”
Because remember one thing:
When we give of ourselves, everybody is a winner.
Everybody is a winner.
So why should this matter to us?
Here:
If I only come to church to receive, I will always be unsatisfied.
I will always leave unsatisfied.
I will never be satisfied.
I will always compare church with some other church.
I will always compare the pastor with somebody else.
I go to work or office or whatever—I will always compare.
“Somebody is better than the people I have.”
And that is so dangerous.
If I go out and I speak and I compare you with others—how wrong of me.
Are you with me here, church?
How wrong of me to do that.
Do I compare my wife with other women?
Do I want to compare?
How wrong of us.
We cannot do that.
We should not do that.
Jesus himself said,
“It’s more blessed to give than to receive.”
Acts 20:35.
This is the Lord. He said,
“Hey, it’s more blessed.”
But always, my consumer culture says,
“Receive! Come on, receive!”
The blessings of fellowship are unlocked when I deal with a consumer mindset.
What do you have to offer in fellowship?
“I may not have much, but I always have something to give.”
When we all give, everyone receives.